Chalons Refight - DBM

- Run by Peter Dunn, Date: November 1999

<Rugged male announcer, peering blearily into the camera>

and now we switch to far-off Gaul, for some late-breaking news

<pert female announcer #1, against the background of a bonfire>

Yes, Jim, we're here at the baggage camp of the so-called Freedom Alliance, where the former chairman of the Pro-Hunnic League, Attila, has united the PHL with the Gepids for a Better Tomorrow and the Ostrogothic Anti Defamation Council. We understand he has delivered an ultimatum to the Caesar Vincianus, giving him 24 hours to remove all foreign troops and dismantle the entire apparatus of the Roman imperialist state, or face the consequences.

< Jim>

but the entire apparatus of the Roman state in the west has already been dismantled, hasn't it?

<pfa #1>

Yes, Jim, that's right: it is already being called Attila's masterstroke, as it has reassured his Gepid allies that the Romans must be afraid, or why would they have already done this?

Now if you look over to the left, you can see a long line of Hunnic skirmishers forming up near the broken ground. Beside them the Ostrogoths have formed in long columns. But there is something strange, as both groups are facing each other, not the enemy.

<Jim, breaking in>

Yes, Bambi, we have noted general and strategic advisor Petreius here in the studio with us. Perhaps he can enlighten us. <turning> General, you are the famous author of 'My Bow and Me: how I won the war', perhaps you can guess what is going on?

<General Petreus, starting awake>

eh? eh? oh, yes I see. Obviously the Goths have decided that the Romans cannot lose, and are ready to betray Attila already. peering at the screen Or else, Attila has decided that the Huns would be better redeployed to face the Alans in the centre-left, and the Goths are being marched out to face the Roman Federate Knights on the far left.

<Jim>

I see. Thank you, General. Back to you, Bambi

<pert female announcer #2, standing on a windswept hilltop>

This is Candi, Jim. I'm afraid Bambi got spotted by one of the Huns, who threw her across his saddle and rode off with her.

<offcamera but audible> damn, we lose more reporters that way!

<Candi>

As the camera pans, you can see Chairman Attila in the right centre, with a few horsemen and a huge contingent of Rugian footsloggers. It seems he is giving them an inspirational address, complete with the famous Freedom Alliance Gesture. They seem to be facing a slightly smaller contingent of Rugian warriors. Over there, on the far right is the GBT contingent, looking eager already. The Gepids seem to have opposite them.. good lord! some actual Roman Legionaries and auxilia, and a few cavalry.

Ah! and they're off! Attila and his men are forcing the pace forward in the centre with the Gepid knights keeping pace with them. The Gepid foot and archers are falling behind a little, tho. On the left, there seems to be some confusion, as the Gothic knights are redeploying swiftly, but the Hunnic skirmishers are having trouble getting organised and out of their way.

Well, the Roman forces of terror are rolling forward eagerly as well. The Legions are swinging forward to be the first to face the Gepid horse, while they send a few horse archers to plague them. Meanwhile the Alan horsemen in the centre left have poured forward eagerly covered by the far-left advance of the Federate Knights, who seem to strongly resemble Heruls, if I'm not mistaken.

Yes, you can see the manic grins and the waving lavender scarves, those are Heruls all right.

Now the Gepids have swept aside the roman horse archers and are plunging towards the legions, while the masses of foot under Attila are sprinting to keep up with them (1). On the centre left, Attila's personal guard has formed off to threaten the flank of the advancing Alans who have been forced to drop back some of their men to face him. The rest of the Alans have charged forward seeking out the Hun skirmishers, who have finally gotten themselves organized in two separate lines. But, oh dear, the Gothic knights seem to have forgotten what they are doing.

<Camera shows a 2wide column of KnF still facing left, mostly behind the Hun LH>

<Jim breaks in>

General, perhaps you can advise us of what is going wrong there?

<General Petreius, hastily downing his glass of sherry>

Vell, Chim, it seems zat ze Gothic general has not been able to manouevre his men fast enough, and hesitates to try facing forvarts in case he zhould loose all control. And ze Huns look like ze are in grave trouble too, with their front line outnumbered. It reminds me of zat great match in, was it '22?, i -

<Jim, breaking in>

Thank you, General, and back to you, Candi.

<pert female reporter #3>

This is Teri, Jim, I'm afraid Candi saw a bronze, blond-thewed god of a Frank in the camp and has gone to conduct an in-depth interview with him.

Well, as the Professor said, the Alans have eaten big holes in the middle of the Hun front line, but not without sustaining casualties themselves. The Hun commander here though, seems paralyzed with indecision (2), so the Alans and the Heruls have pressed on.

Now you can see the Alans thunder into the second line of Huns, with the Heruls keeping pace with them: but the Hunnic line is fighting like wild men, slaying Alans left and right, even riding down a stray company or two of Heruls. Look at them go!

<Jim, breaking in>

Thank you, Teri, and what's happening elsewhere <sotto voce, but loud enough to hear> and wipe your chin you bimbo, you're drooling!

<Teri, regaining her poise>

Well, the Gepid knights have tried to ride down the legions, but been bounced off at the first attempt. Attila's line of warbands have finally got close enough to charge the Rugians, and it looks like they're enveloping them from both ends. Most of the Roman foot are remaining well back, with only the Legion and a few skirmishers attacking the Gepids.

Back on the left, the Hun skirmishers are fighting magnificently. Wherever they have an advantage, they fall back, but wherever they are at a disadvantage, they are crushing the Alans. Now the Alans have broken, and the battered Huns are falling on the flank of the Heruls, just as their Gothic allies have finally slipped the reins of restraint and dashed into the Herul front. Ahh, the Huns are broken at last, enough casualties to demoralise them, but not before they had rent a great hole in the Herul lines, large enough to have sent the Heruls reeling back in demoralisation.

And finally, as the battle is decided on the left, the Gepid knights fling themselves on to the Legions again, riding down Legion XXII, but suffering appalling casualties themselves. While that battle swirls, Attila is calmly encircling the Rugians, who have had enough - they're raising the white flags and surrendering en masse. And with that, the Roman forces, carefully kept near the back of the field, are slinking off, back to the holes they crawled out from, and the Freedom Alliance is celebrating the final liberation of Europa.

Thanks to Peter Dunn for organising a most enjoyable re-fight, and to my co-commanders Kelly Gay, Alan Yaxley, and especially Rhys Bachelor, whose dismal pip-dice were more than compensated for by the most awesome combat dice I've seen in years.

1. Attila was blessed with a string of excellent pip dice, allowing 2 & 3 march moves a turn with the WB
2. Rhys threw another 1 for pips, with half a dozen exposed flanks begging to be exploited!

Phil Malthus (November 1999)